A week or so ago, my sister and I got into a discussion that I haven't been able to get out of my mind. Call it OCD or whatever you'd like - you're probably right.
The discussion was about your duty to your spouse. If your spouse is being a complete idiot, do you have to agree with them in front of the world and then try to get them to see reason in private, or is it ok to disagree with them in public?
Now, I have only been married for a few years, but everything in me says that if your spouse chooses to act inappropriately, you are in no way obligated to go along with it. I'm not saying you should make a big fuss and scornfully denounce them, just not back them up if they ask you to do so. Does that make me a bad wife? I guess I am just one of those, you mess up in public, you apologize in public type of people.
What do you think? (Single folk - I want to hear from you too!)
5 comments:
Chris and I have had this conversation. Basically what we decided was to get that person out of the situation as quickly as possible. Whether that is them coming in and talking quietly with you to calm you down/tell you you are being an idiot/whatever, literally pulling you out of the situation, or yelling at you to get you to shut it. Then, once you've seen reason do what you have to do to make it right. We have actually had to do this. No surprise it was him helping me out.
You can never go wrong if you handle every situation with respect and love, no matter who is seen as being wrong or right. Tearing down a spouse in front of others diminishes the love you have between each other.
I definitely wasn't talking about tearing anyone down in front of anyone else. Just simply refusing to agree that they are right. Its a less clean cut question then, huh?
I agree with you actually..I'm a little wifely incorrect i think. I'll call aaron out and accidentally embarrass him all the time in public. But honestly, I wish I was one of those wives that had the patience to wait until we get home, because people start to wonder "if you are this way to your husband in public, what goes on at home?" So I try to think of that before opening my big opinionated mouth, but sometimes, he's just being an idiot and I cant hold my tongue! haha.
Out of respect for your spouse, you wait until your in private. Unless he/she is in a dangerous situation and needs immediate intervention. But seriously, my husband HATES to be emberassed and he knows I dont like to be emberassed. He lets me make a fool of myslef and then tells me later. Actually, talk to the spouse. I would prefer that Scott stop me before I make a fool of myself. He would rather I hold my tongue and wait until later. Do what works best for you guys, and it wont always be the same.
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